Resources
Below are some resources that have helped me in my healing journey. This is not an exhaustive list, but rather a collection of those that have had a significant impact on my life.
Domestic Abuse
Recommended Book
Lundy Bancroft, a specialized counselor, has worked with abusers for over twenty years. In his book, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men, he helps the reader understand the various forms of abuse and how to respond.
Domestic Violence Support Hotline
Many of us don't even know when we are in an abusive situation! However, if your body or spirit are telling you something is "off," contact this confidential support line 24/7 via call, chat or text.
This website also provides a host of resources for you to get some clarity about your situation.
Counseling
Counseling Specialities for Trauma
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Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) – uses rapid eye movements to rewire the brain
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Somatic Experiencing Therapy – uses mind-body exercises to release trauma
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Dynamic Neural Retraining System (DNRS) – reprograms the system involved in high stress response
Mental Health
Dr. Daniel G. Amen is a psychiatrist with an abundance of resources and information about mental illness. He specializes in brain scans and years of experience to create a holistic healing method. Receiving a mental illness diagnosis can feel like it is a lifelong label, which it is not. There is a lot we can do to help ourselves.
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Amen, Daniel G. The End of Mental Illness: How Neuroscience Is Transforming Psychiatry and Helping Prevent or Reverse Mood and Anxiety Disorders, ADHD, Addictions, PTSD, Psychosis, Personality Disorders, and More. ​​
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Amen Clinics, Dr. Daniel Amen. www.amenclinics.com or www.brainmd.com
Caroline Leaf is a neuroscientist that has healthy, proven ways to address mental illness (challenges). She also has a great app to help train out brains.
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Leaf, Caroline. Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking. Baker Books, 2021.​​
Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are absolutely essential for our wellbeing. As a previous “Kind Girl,” I had no concept of my needs, desires, or how to advocate for myself. I didn’t even know they are essential for a healthy life.
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Cloud, Henry and Townsend, John. How to Have That Difficult Conversation. Zondervan, 2005.
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Cole, Terri. The Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free. Sounds True, 2021.
Relationship
This has been the best relationship book I have read, and I have read plenty. It helped me understand the destructive nature of Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling and will provide valuable insight into how to have a beautiful marriage and relationship. I even used this book to help me prioritize what was important to me when I started dating again after my divorce.
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Gottman, John M and Nan Silver. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert. Three Rivers Press, 1999.
Sex
I grew up in a purity culture where shame and silence surrounded sex. Sex was an area of great difficulty in my previous marriage, which included a lot of rejection. This book was very helpful.
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Gregoire, Sheila Wray with Rebecca Lindenbach and Joanna Sawatsky. The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended. Baker Books, 2021.
Fear
I had no idea I was in the grip of a destructive marriage and chronically in fear (which isn’t healthy). This book exposed how Satan used fear to wreak havoc in my life.
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Hill, Napoleon. Outwitting the Devil: The Secret to Freedom and Success. Sterling Publishing, 2011.
Trauma
This was key to exposing how my body reacted to the trauma of my destructive marriage. It is a deep read and definitely one of my top five recommended books.
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van der Kolk, B. A. The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking, 2014.
Intimacy
Creating intimacy is an art we can learn. This book and guide are sensational. It helped me understand why I didn’t have intimacy in my previous marriage and why it felt so painfully lonely.
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Yerkovich, Milan and Kay. How We Love: A Revolutionary Approach to Deeper Connections in Marriage. WaterBrook Press, 2006.
Self-Guided Meditation
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